Over the years, one of our most popular posts has been the reprint of the late Danni Moss’ article about serial bullies. Regrettably, a high percentage of clergy fit the bill, with one expert we consulted estimating that fully a third of clergy are serial bullies, or predators.
A new post by Dr. Karen Mitchell, PhD, originally on X (formerly Twitter), expands on the Moss’ comments, and it’s excellent. Indeed, Anglican Watch editor Eric Bonetti noted that the list closely aligns with his negative experiences with his former rector, perjuring priest Bob Malm, then rector of Grace Episcopal Church, in Alexandria, VA. This includes Malm’s manipulative comment, bullying, perjury, and criminal activity in the form of weaponizing the legal system, which resulted in anti-abuse group SNAP issuing a demand that the Episcopal Church take action.
To Mitchell’s list, we would add/emphasis a few points:
– Displays a chameleon-like propensity to adopt personas and images, like athlete or priest.
– Excels at appearing guileless and innocent to judicatories.
– Shows an uncanny ability to tell people what they want to hear.
– Uses excess charm to get their way.
Mitchell’s post is below and can be found on X here. And while her emphasis is on the weaponry deployed by predators, these behaviors may help readers identify toxic clergy.
What weaponry do narcissists/psychopaths (predators) employ to destroy others, to win and to avoid exposure?
1. Intimidation with the intent to create fear.
2. Isolates (the target from their support group, family, friends and networks through the use of outrageous false narrative and manipulation).
3. Weaponises the justice system.
4. Accuses the target of their own nefarious deeds, blames others.
5. Pretends to be the victim.
6. Data is sacred – bribes, steals, breaks laws and goes to great lengths to get information on their target that can be used to compromise them.
7. Blocks, evades, deflects.
8. Creates a contrived sense of deep connection with targets and those they want to groom to be complicit.
9. Focuses on evidence reduction & lack of transparency.
10. Diminishes, degrades, disempowers, discredits.
11. Uses convoluted discussion.
12. Confuses & creates chaos.
13. Publicly and privately provokes.
14. Justifies and excuses.
15. Ingratiates themselves to people in power.
16. Delays & postpones.
17. Diminishes, denies, minimises.
18. Blackmails & bribes.
19. Obligates.
20. Forces, coerces, bullies.
21. Creates & capitalises on divisiveness.
22. Moves in and out of supportive and non-supportive approaches.
23. Attacks process & the qualifications, experience & integrity of professionals challenging them.
24. Engages in a complex set of behaviours which are difficult to see through and understand collectively.
25. Mirrors and copies.
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