For those who don’t know, my name’s Mike. I’m the husband of Anglican Watch editor Eric Bonetti. I had the misfortune of having our relationship blessed at the church by perjuring priest Bob Malm.
Recently, someone we knew well at the church died. So I wrote to Anne Turner to ask if, in light of the church’s statements that my husband is a “domestic terrorist,” there would be a problem attending the memorial service.
If you’re like most Episcopalians, you probably think, “Of course not. Why would there be?”
But in true Grace fashion, I didn’t even get the courtesy of a response. So, when you hear Anne talking about Grace being inclusive, she is lying. After all, what did I do to anyone? Didn’t like the cookies I made, is that it?
That begs the question: What kind of asshole ignores a request to attend a funeral?
Yet another data point that Grace Episcopal, the clergy perjury parish, is toxic. And it’s every bit as bad now as when perjuring priest Bob Malm was rector.
As for Anne Turner, she is a hypocrite. And I am sorry I ever even heard about that church.
Meanwhile, would someone please do me a favor and shut that place down?
Mike, its Stinkbomb. I am so very sorry.
You have every right to attend the funeral. If that causes problems for parishioners, that’s too damned bad. And if that happens, Anne Turner needs to get a spine and deal with her childish, non-Christian parishioners. And she should have immediately responded to your request and used it as an opportunity to build bridges. Her loss. (My approach would be to welcome you, have coffee afterwards, and ask, ‘What can I do to help?”)
The church isn’t a Greek organization where we are all supposed to look up to Bob Malm, big man on campus. Or pay the childish mean girl games of folks like Alison Campbell, Kelly Gable, and Lisa Medley because they are too insecure to act like adults. It is a place where we are supposed to worship God and love each other.
I generally like Anne. But she is mishandling this issue every step of the way. Her efforts to avoid testifying in court also show she’s not willing to speak up in the face of injustice and oppression. If there’s nothing to hide, then there should be no issue answering questions. So she is fully complicit, she lacks a spine, and she lacks integrity. Think “Those things we have left undone,” the unofficial motto of the Episcopal Church.
As a priest, my advice is to avoid Grace and its people like the plague. And that goes for all who may be thinking about getting involved, not just Mike. We become like those we choose as friends, and Kemp Williams, Alison Campbell, Lisa Medley, Jeff Chiow, the altar guild and Anne Turner are not people I want as friends. Oh, and
the choir.the junior clergy and choir; it’s fair to say I have issues with Nina and Santi, but for different reasons.And Mike, if you were in my area, or you ever visit, and you wanted to be part of things, you and Eric would be welcome in my parish without reservation. Any church would be lucky to have you. And any that doesn’t recognize that is a bunch of idiots.
And this comment is to Anne:
I hear Mike has asked for his money back. Ethically, you owe it to him. He gave it based on one understanding, but the church pulled a bait and switch.
While you are at it, get a little gumption. Call up Mike, ask what you can do to help, and then make it happen. Or really get some backbone and call Eric and ask him to join you for coffee. Three years into your gig and you still haven’t had the courage.
You’re not doing yourself or your parish any favors. Conflict ignored is conflict multiplied, and Malm spent 30 years ignoring conflict and stirring it up when he thought it would garner him narcissistic supply. (You do realize Malm is a narcissist, don’t you? If not, you are in worse shape than I thought.)
Need Mike’s digits? Post here and I’ll help you. $20 says you don’t have the courage to do it. 😈
Mike, my husband and I are very sorry for your experiences. We know Eric from his time with St. Thomas’ and he is lovely. You are a lucky man!
We also knew Anne while she was here. Utterly well-intentioned, but in way over her head at Grace, Her strength is pastoral care, but Grace needs someone both kind and very strong—someone willing to call a spade a spade. Ideally, they should have done a three-year with a bishop interim who could lay down the law and tell the altar guild and others to grow up or get out.
Sounds awful, but better to have a church with 20 real Christians than Lisa Medley, Jeff Chiow, Kelly Gable, Alison Campbell, Kemp Williams and similar. Yes, we know them all. No, we would never go to a church where they are members.
Peace and love,
St. Thomas Fogies
Mike, I am so sorry. The church’s behavior — including that of Chiow, Malm, Gable and several others — has been appalling. The fact Turner doesn’t have the spine to say “no mas” shows she’s every bit as culpable. And a funeral?! The only correct answer would have been, “Of course, and I’d love to catch up afterwards.” That’s what Jesus would have done.
Nor will that bunch of losers ever apologize. They’ll go to Ash Wednesday with zero concept of the hypocrisy behind it.
As for earlier comments, whoever said Bob and Leslie are batshit crazy is spot on. Leslie is so effed up she actually thinks her emails calling people compulsive liars are Christian. Meanwhile, Lindsey eats to make herself feel better about her screwed up parents.
I’d also love to be a fly on the wall when Chiow tries to explain his lies to his kids. $20 says by the time his kids get to college they never set foot in church again. If I am still around — a questionable proposition at my age — I will laugh my ass off. Went to the Yard to prove he has a penis. Been looking for it ever since. **Hint: Look carefully. It’s under that enormous gut! **
Hi everyone. I’ve enjoyed the humorous pokes at the ever-expanding Sugarland et al, but please remember to honor the baptismal covenant. It’s far too easy to become like Sugarland, Malm, or the other co-called Christians at Grace. Given the recent level of ire, we’ve tried to moderate with a light hand, but we’re really skating the line in some cases.
Thanks for helping me out on this.
– Eric
Point well taken, and apologies for my often irate comments.
One thought: Anyone like Chiow who would lie to police and claim he’s being stalked is beneath contempt. It’s also a bad idea to hire an attorney who, like Chiow, is a liar. As a client, my constant fear would be, “When will Chiow’s lies get me or my business in trouble?”
And what kind of asswad tries to drag a dying woman into court? This is one really loathsome human being. Note that I am not focusing on the behavior. This many instances of bad behavior indicates a structural issue.