Toxic Episcopal priest Bill Allport resurfaces

Some priests are, simply put, in the wrong line of work. We use the word “work” very deliberately, as being a priest should be a calling, not a job.

One priest in the wrong line of work is Bill Allport, recently rector of St. Paul’s in Englewood, NJ. After months of wrangling, Allport was given the heave-ho after spending much of his tenure drinking in his office.

Now, Allport has resurfaced at the Seamen’s Church Institute, which cares for persons in the international shipping industry. Often unable to leave the ship when it puts into port, these persons face loneliness, dire working conditions, substance abuse, and more.

In that regard, it’s challenging to think of someone more ill-suited than Allport. Specific reasons include:

1. Allport is a bully who makes church staff and members miserable.
2. He’s a liar, including his bit about how his daughter is afraid of a former, openly gay staff member of St. Paul’s.
3. He’s an embezzler who stole from a church he served in Texas, then lied about it, claiming he did so “to feed his family.” Our bet: He did it to feed his besties, Gin, Rum, and Vodka.
4. He has an alcohol use disorder.
5. He appears to be a malevolent narcissist.
6. He’s been observed driving church-owned vehicles while drunk.

If nothing else, those of us who have lost family members to drunk drivers — this author included — ardently object to Allport remaining clergy unless he is sober and monitored on a regular basis. And given the prevalence of drugs and alcohol in the maritime industry, we can’t think of a worse place for Allport.

As for his other behavior, where but the Diocese of Newark would this nonsense pass muster?

Yes, we get that the answer is it would pass muster in most, if not all, Episcopal dioceses. 

But that’s a problem, and it’s unacceptable.

Apropos Allport’s offer to serve as supply clergy, all we can say is that any parish that hires him is a bunch of idiots. Feel free to quote us.

As always, we extend our offer to plaintiff’s counsel: If Allport kills or injures someone due to impairment, be in touch. We will provide you with details of who knew what, when they knew it, and how they knew it. In fact, we will gladly testify under oath, and we’ll tell you where to find other witnesses as well.

And for the record, the church’s insurance carrier, the Church Pension Group, is fully aware of issues with Allport. So don’t let anyone hoodwink you with nonsense about how they took prompt action or any of the other usual BS.

As for feckless bishop Carlye Hughes, get your act together. You get paid to do a job, and church members deserve better than the likes of Allport.

And to Bill Allport, we say this: Do the church a favor and scram. Yes, we’re all human, but your lack of kindness and integrity are disqualifying. The church deserves better.