Anglican Watch has been closely watching efforts at conflict resolution at Calvary Episcopal, Front Royal. We believe the measures are worthwhile and encourage the parish to continue efforts in this space. We also encourage the parish to treat the matter as one where all topics are fair game.
Among other things, we’re thinking of issues with rector Valerie Hayes.
Specifically, while Hayes is sincere about welcoming all persons, her actions often point towards a different conclusion.
That includes a very active role in the diocesan clergy gossip tree and behavior not in keeping with the high standards of integrity that people rightly should expect from Episcopal priests.
In that vein, we recall Hayes’ response to an email from Anglican Watch editor Eric Bonetti to Hayes and other clergy in the diocese about abusive conduct. Hayes later contacted a third party, claimed to be Bonetti, and claimed she was being “harassed,” and that this had “been going on for years.” Hashtags #weird, #defamation, #notchristian.
To be clear, when someone tells a clergyperson that they are being abused in any way — mentally, verbally, emotionally, sexually, or in any other manner — the only correct response is, “I am so very sorry. What can I do to help?”
Insisting that the church address abuse is not harassment, and if Hayes thinks otherwise, it’s time for her to find a new career.
Hayes’ actions also suggest a lack of introspection. If she cannot examine her own behavior and address inconsistencies, she’s going to struggle in any job, but particularly as a priest.
We also note that the parish appears to be adrift, with no real direction. Even the website has been “under construction” for months now—an effort that, given the small size of the site, could easily be done in one afternoon.
This dichotomy between Hayes’ professed values and her professional conduct has contributed to numerous challenges within the parish and the diocese. And this is a root-cause issue–parishes take their cue from leadership, and a priest who lacks integrity spins off conflict in all directions.
The good news is that the diocese is finally taking these issues seriously.
Conflict ignored is conflict multiplied, and the diocese has for far too long spent all its time and energy in litigation, even as it ignores issues of integrity and accountability.
Let’s hope for meaningful change, health, and wholeness at the Front Royal parish. And let’s hope that the church has the integrity to actually discuss real issues, in the open, in a safe enviroment, without Hayes accusing anyone of harassment.
I have no idea exactly what this article refers to. We are new to the area and I went to the church and was welcomed warmly by the priest Valerie HAYES, as well as the entire congregation. There are no words to describe the kindness shown a stranger. We will definitely go back. We are all broken and in process And learning. I will reach up in prayer regarding what has been written about the issues; however as we know, Jesus Christ is the way the truth and the life, and we all need to be mindful not to judge or cast aspersions.
Sort of like the importance of not chasing the moneychangers out of the Temple or flipping tables, huh? Hard to resist injustice and oppression when you’re unwilling to judge, I bet. And for the record, it’s Jesus of Nazareth, not Jesus of Milquetoast.
To be clear, we have never said that Valerie Hayes is not friendly.
What we do say — and reiterate — is that she is sneaky, gossipy, two-faced, judgmental, and willing to side against persons abused by clergy. The exact opposite of Christ-like behavior
In other words, Valerie Hayes talks a good game, but she is a hypocrite who is living a lie.
Sooner or later, that fact is going to cause problems, both for you and the parish. That’s also part of the reason the parish has been in an elevated state of conflict over the past several years, and we remind you that some of the most toxic churches also are the friendliest.
Remember, you heard it first from us.
OK…so I’m missing the data on abuse. Who was abused? When were they abused and by whom were they abused?
Clergy?
Valerie?
Parishioner (abuser)
And you are stating that this happened at this church and Valerie/rector covered it up?
Reported to the police? Episcopal hierarchy?
In the local paper?
I’m sorry I’m trying to wrap my head around this because I have not seen any local information regarding this horrendous situation. Help
https://www.anglicanwatch.com/take-me-off-this-email-list-immediately-the-hypocrisy-of-the-episcopal-church/
You can find additional details on our site using the search feature.
In a nutshell, Valerie likes to trumpet her commitment to inclusion and ensuring that church is a safe place for all persons. But ask her to put that talk into action —- as in the long-running issues with Episcopal priest Bob Malm’s criminal conduct —- and Valerie pulls a fast one. As in pretending to be other people, and complaining that she is being harassed because — good heavens! — someone actually is asking her to say no to clergy misconduct.
We’re also not saying much these days about Episcopal priest Bob Malm’s criminal conduct, which is at the heart of that conflict, as there is an active clergy disciplinary case against Malm, and the matter involves AW editor Eric Bonetti. Supposedly, the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia is working to address the matter, but I will believe it when I see it. And for the record, felony criminal conduct by a priest should result in being defrocked in short order, but Malm is still serving, albeit up in Massachusetts, while remaining canonically resident in the Diocese of Virginia,
As for Valerie’s other buddy on the clergy gossip circuit, Leslie Steffensen, whom Valerie claims is being bullied and harassed, that situation resulted in a successful Title IV case against Leslie. The result was underwhelming, however, with Leslie getting a lecture from Bishop Mark Stevenson on the need to act with integrity, and the all-too-predictable fauxpology from Leslie that sidestepped Leslie’s sneaky, behind-the-scenes efforts to tamper with the Malm Title IV clergy disciplinary case with disparaging lies about the complainant.
Funny thing—-I thought it was a given that clergy should not be going around lying about their parishioners. But I guess Leslie Steffensen missed that part of seminary.
Bottom line, Valerie needs to spend less time gossiping with the other female clergy, less time filing false and misleading complaints under other people’s names, and more time actually being a Christian. But in the Diocese of Virginia, that is a tall order.
Also worth noting is there is a civil suit still pending against Valerie Hayes and her parish, thanks to her childish behavior.
I sincerely hope you find what you are looking for in the Episcopal Church, but if my experiences with the Diocese of Virginia, Valerie, and the clergy in the Diocese, you are likely to be sorely disappointed. Unfortunately, for many of us, that realization only happens after we’re invested a great deal of time and money in a denomination that simply doesn’t walk the talk.
~staff